One of those days... some stuff is bothering me to the point that I have got to put it down where I can see it. It started with my mediating about some issues that are a source of isolation between myself and some people I dearly love. And it's much more than that. But, whatever...
Yes, there are a couple close loved ones whom I feel isolated from or with whom have a loss of fellowship.
(Makes me wonder if I'm the main problem.)

I ALWAYS go back to the Bible for answers. And I try not to just find verses that support my own self. (I spent too many years doing that) But I have had nothing on my conscience that could satisfactorily resolve the issues that seem so easily resolved in my head and impossible in mind of those couple of others who remain nameless. (just don't... it really doesn't matter who they are even if you think you have a clue)

I started with Ephesians 4:32. I just happened to stumble on it first. Probably many of us know it by heart: the "...Be ye kind..." verse?

I stumbled across it while looking up scriptures that might support an idea that we should intentionally focus on and even bring to mind and speak about the good things in our past rather than 'the bad'.

You see, I could not think of, nor have I ever found, any place in God's word where we are to... how do some say it? ...'honestly' face the 'facts' of our past in order to better deal with our present.
To speak plainly, it disturbs me that we seem to feel a need to 'drum up' past injuries and speak of them to others in order to 'move on' in our present. Why is it not rather encouraged that we 'drum up' any good remembrances with the same fervor, in order to 'move on' with our lives?

We all have hurtful things that we have experienced. And, sadly, probably most of us have been part of creating a hurtful memory for someone else. Yet we tend to recall and speak of the bad more than any of the good: and true history tends to become warped a bit. But what if we 'warped' our personal history the other direction instead? Would not that be a bit more profitable? Why is being optimistic and speaking only of good things in our past called 'living a lie' or 'denial' and yet letting oneself, as a grown adult, dwell on and be molded by one's damaged perceptions from childhood called 'facing facts'?

I reversed it just for fun. If I mediate on all the good memories of my childhood, college experience, marriage, employment, child rearing, etc..., I will say that I am 'facing the facts'. And if I bring to mind or make any decisions based on my perceptions of injury I have suffered, I will say that I am 'living in denial' or 'living a lie'.
Hmmm...

Wow! That would change things quite a bit.

(thinking...)

I found these verses...

"Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone."
(Col. 4:6 NLT)

"Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them."
(Eph. 4:29 NLT)

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."
(2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV)

"...This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before...
(WAIT...this is the ONE thing I'm supposed to actually DO?... FORGET? Hmmm...)

AND

...Many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ: Whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things..."
(Philippians 3:13-20 KJV)

"Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good."
(Romans 12:21 KJV)

"Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old."
(Isaiah 43:18 KJV)

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."
(Philippians 4:8 KJV)

I LOVE the paraphrase of Philippians 4:8 from the Living Bible, which I read as a child...

"...Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about." (TLB)

It makes me think of something my younger sister, Angie, used to say...
"Aren't cha glad?"
Angie would pop that one out at any ol' opportunity... usually when I was upset about something. She knew it made me mad, but she would smile her sweet irresistible smile and I never stayed mad... hard as I tried.
I wish it was that easy today....

(thinking...)

Anyway, I was looking up the words, in Ephesians 4:31-32, in an 1828 dictionary to more fully 'digest' the verse... And it was rough....

"Let all bitterness (a quality which excites a biting disagreeable sensation; extreme enmity, grudge, hatred; sharpness; severity of temper; keenness of reproach; biting sarcasm),

...and wrath (violent anger; vehement exasperation; indignation; effects of anger),

...and anger (vexation, anguish; a violent passion of the mind excited by a real or supposed injury; usually accompanied with a propensity to take vengeance, or to obtain satisfaction from the offending party. This passion however varies in degrees of violence, and in ingenuous minds, may be attended only with a desire to reprove or chide the offender.
...Nor is it unusual to see something of this passion roused by gross absurdities in others, especially in controversy or discussion),

...and clamour (a great outcry; noise; exclamation; made by a loud human voice continued or repeated. It often expresses complaint and urgent demand.)

...and evil speaking (unjust words or which tend to injury, or produce mischief),

BE put away from you, with all malice (extreme enmity of heart; a disposition to injure others without cause, from mere personal gratification or from a spirit of revenge; unprovoked malignity or spite):

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
(Ephesians 4:31-32 KJV)

I'm going to be honest. I don't think I line up. Granted, it is God in us which works out the doing of that which pleases Him.
"For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him."
(Philippians 2:13 NLT)

But even the verse preceding this one says...

"...Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear."
(Philippians 2:12 NLT)

And YET! ...Ephesians 4:31-32 isn't even something we are supposed to have to work at. The verse says "LET all ______ be put away from you."

I'm going to be honest, I don't know how to LET all these things be put away from me. And I have a feeling I'm not the only one who might have an issue with this... not that this fact has anything to do with anything.

So, while finding myself frustrated with those who can't seem to let go of personal bad memories... And applying this verse in my mind to them...I found more relevant application to myself...
I speak words that are bitter- exciting a biting disagreeable sensation, that are sharp, that are severe in temper, that are keen in reproach, that qualify as biting sarcasm,

(thinking...)

I sometimes express wrath-vehement exasperation or indignation,

(thinking...)

I get angry- vexed, anguished, violently empassioned in my mind excited by thoughts concerning a real or supposed injury and desiring satisfaction from the offending party and also desiring to reprove or chide the offender,

(thinking...)

I make, on occasion, quite a clamour- a great outcry; noise; exclamation; made by a loud human voice continued or repeated.. often expressing complaint and urgent demand,

I may even occasionally speak evil of others, though I may be being a bit hard on myself at this point since I honestly can't say that I remember any time in the recent past when I have spoken unjust words which were intended to injure or produce any kind of mischief.

I'm at a loss, however. How can I LET all this stuff be 'put away' from me. I feel like Paul in Romans 7. I know the answer is Christ,

"Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord."

But why this...

"So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin."
(Romans 7:25 NLT)

So I kept reading Romans 8:1-2,

"So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death."

BUT, if I am finding this bitter-wrath-anger-clamor thing coming out of me, what good does it do me to declare that, "...the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed ME from the power of sin that leads to death"?

So I kept reading to verse 4...

"He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit."

Wait! What? "...who no longer follow the sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit." That's a DOING thing again! And Christ does that, right?

So I kept reading through verse 5...

"Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit."

Wow! So the problem is really all in my head. ANY problem is always only in anybody's head! It's all about what we think about... which is what Jesus was talking about in Matthew 5.

So I kept reading through verse 6,

"So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace."

Oh my goodness! There's that word 'LET' again! What we allow ourselves to think about or mediate on is the whole secret! Psalms 1:2-3 comes to mind,
"Oh, the joys of those who ...delight in the law of the Lord , meditating on it day and night. They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do."

So that's it!
I hear all the time how works don't save us and how Christ had accomplished everything for us. I know, I know. But what does that look like?
But now I think I have something to chew on a bit. The working out of my salvation is not so much in the conforming of my outward display of my Christianity as it is in "girding up the lions of my mind" as 1 Peter 1:13 says to do.

Ok,
So I've concluded that it is definitely psycho mumbo jumbo to give any credence to the theory that we should give thought to the pains of our past, let alone speak of them to anyone but God.
I don't know how Galatians 6:2 about bearing one another's burdens fits in here, but I am sure there is plenty for me to digest today concerning what I think about and how I think. That last verse I read in Romans 8, verse 7, says this,
"For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God’s laws, and it never will. That’s why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God."

I sure don't want the sin nature to maintain control over me. So I have got to get my 'head on straight' about all this, so to speak.

Ok, so I'm a bit strange. I use my phone to search verses that come to my head when I'm thinking and praying about stuff. I don't want to forget what I believe God helps me figure out, so I copy-paste everything into my gmail app to sort out my thoughts, sort of talking to myself. Then I post the whole thing to my wall as my status. What can I say? It's honestly my status.