Lately...

There are several issues that bug me deep down inside... that keep me awake at night... that give me a yucky feeling in my chest.

Sure, some of this 'sick' feeling is sorrow over the 'abominations' of this present age.
That part of my yucky feeling is probably good.

"And the Lord said unto him... set a mark upon the foreheads of the men that sigh and that cry for all the abominations that be done in the midst thereof."
(Ezekiel 9:4)

But then there's a part of me that's just mad at 'dumb' people... 'stiff' people... 'mean' people... 'self-righteous' people.
Obviously, my opinion is a factor here.
And I realize that while I am thinking in this way, it is very likely that the bigger problem is with myself.

Is it because we are created in the image of God that we seek justice... ?

Forgiveness is hard to consider unless the offender humbles himself, comes to terms we deem just and necessary, asks forgiveness, and attempts to make things as right as possible.

We 'naturally' nurse grudges... i.e. mull over issues.
We 'naturally' vent our anger.
But THIS is like the Enemy, NOT like our Creator.

"I will not execute the fierceness of mine anger... for I am God, and not man..."
(Hosea 11:9)

It is base humanity that reacts according to one's feelings and emotions.

"Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for [God's] wrath; for it is written,
'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord'"
(Romans 12:19)

GOD knows and understands the full truth behind every personal and interpersonal conflict, insult, and every sort of disturbance.

Look at Saul/Paul.
He was imprisoning and murdering people as a service to God.
But God knew his heart.
GOD was the ONLY one that could change his mind.

Thinking about stuff is rather pointless.
Giving everything to God in prayer, with thanksgiving, is the only sure pathway to peace.

"Do NOT fret or have any anxiety about ANYTHING,
But in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests),
With thanksgiving,
Continue to make your wants known to God.
And God's peace which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus...
Whatever is true,
Whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly,
Whatever is just,
Whatever is pure,
Whatever is lovely and lovable,
Whatever is kind and winsome and gracious,
IF there is any virtue and excellence,
IF there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them]."
(Philippians 4:6-8)

Because of sin, the Devil has the legal right to tempt us.
But we are told to resist the Enemy and he will flee.
We have a shield, our faith in God.
We have a weapon, the Word of God.
So why... WHY is it so hard to 'fix' my mind?

Peter wrote,
"Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance:
But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation."
(1 Peter 1:13-15)

Distracted,  maybe?
Probably.

We are 'children' of the one we obey and imitate.

Jesus said to some,
"You are doing the works of your father... and it is your will to practice the lusts and gratify the desires [which are characteristic] of your father..."
(John 8:41, 44)

The Enemy wants to be 'on top'.
The Enemy covets success and honor and admiration.
The Enemy plots and schemes.
The Enemy designs entrapments and delights in the downfall of those he despises.

The natural man that sided with the serpent resembles the Enemy.
 
In the natural man,  anger lingers.
The natural man 'stews'.
The natural man recognizes the faintest slight against him.
The natural man expects and looks for confirmation of suspicions about others.
The natural man accuses and condemns.
The natural man seeks to prove a point.

BUT when we are 'in Christ' and Christ's Spirit is within us, we forgive an offender BEFORE he's sorry... yes, even while he is yet offending us.
We seek out the one who ran away.
Our hearts and our hands are open and we do NOT pull away from those who might take advantage of us.
Insults are met with silence and prayer.
Urgency and anxiety fade the more our conscious thought finds its attentions on the person of God.
We take no thought for tomorrow.
We hold lightly to things and press hard after God.
And we will make a way of reconciliation with others that mirrors the one which God has made for us.

Yet THIS is part of a bigger problem.
There ARE those who do not properly recognize what God has done for them in Christ.
They sincerely love others as they feel God loves them... howbeit conditional or permissive.

The person who believes in a conditional love of God will wait for certain conditions to be met before pursuit of a relationship is made.
The person who believes in a permissive love of God doesn't care how you think or what you do... he's there if you want him but doesn't give much thought one way or another about what impassions you.

While the truth IS that...
"...if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live."
(Romans 8:13 KJV)

And while repentance IS required before being 'born again'...

When the Spirit of God is given control, HE changes a person from the inside out.

Attempted control over another person, either actively or passively, can never change a heart... but relationship IS affected.

When a 'religious' person focuses attention on 'self' abasement over 'yieldedness', he himself has not yet come to understand the love of God enough to share it with anyone.

Paul says,
Do not let THOSE...
"...defraud you by acting as an umpire and declaring you unworthy and disqualifying you for the prize, insisting on self-abasement...
And not holding fast to the Head, from Whom the entire body, supplied and knit together by means of its joints and ligaments, grows with a growth that is from God."
(Colossians 2:18-19 AMP)

Growth is from God. (1Cor.3:7)
No one can come to the Father unless HE draws them. (John 6:44)
God turns hearts like a stream of water can be altered. (Prov. 21:1)
It is God who must work in hearts to affect their will and behavior. (Phil. 2:13)

One who is truly God's retains no rights and entertains no expectations.
They exercise no influence or control over others except inadvertently through the conversation of their life and the love of God that shines through them.

We must NOT be 'at home' in this world.

Eternity MUST be in the forefront of our mind and all that we do for the love of God.

A godly disposition cannot be feigned.

Godly character traits are products of a 'state of being' with God.

Love and forgiveness is not something one should 'try' to do... or you WILL fail!

When once I am convicted that my behavior or emotions are unloving or lacking in forgiveness, I MUST singularly seek God and discover what has come between me and my relationship with Him.

God IS love!

When I am in right relationship with God, HIS love runs through me.

John wrote,
"He who does not love has not become acquainted with God, for God is love."
(1 John 4:8)

Do I claim to be Christian?
What entitlements do I claim with my 'christianity'?
...free pardon, open communication, sweet fellowship forever?

What do I believe God thinks concerning me?
...forgiven, clean, well-intentioned?

After you have truly pondered your own answers to these questions, maybe write them down... like I did. :)

It really made me think.
Do I love and forgive in the SAME way I feel God has loved and forgiven me?

I'm supposed to.

When I find that I have missed a slight, inadvertently ignored an insult, or felt calm where others felt fear... it's unexplainably awesome!

I praise and thank the Lord because I realize it is the untraceable side affect of His presence.

"The wind blows where it wills; and though you hear its sound, yet you neither know where it comes from nor where it is going.
So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit."
(John 3:8)

But when I'm feeling irritated, I know that either the Enemy is attacking or I have neglected a constant state of fellowship with the Lord.

I must NEVER defend my actions and reactions as merely 'natural'...

IF I can't see Christ thinking or doing or saying the things I am thinking or wanting to do or say...
I RUN back to God.
I get still and KNOW Him.
I bring every thought captive into obedience to Christ.

Why would we ever put off seriously evaluating ourselves?

"For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged.
But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world."
(1 Corinthians 11:31-32)

It could be that we have 'made-up' or 'twisted' notions about God, salvation, and eternity.
I've been guilty of that.
But I keep seeking.
I like this verse in Philippians,

"Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,  I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you."
(Philippians 3:13-15)

One thing is for certain.
Whether my personal view of myself is right or wrong,
others can see the 'me' I can't see.

Someone once told me that I really wouldn't want to know how others saw me.
They're probably right.
Yet that thought bothers me.
Should it?
Shouldn't my love for God remove ALL fear... even fear of what others think?
Shouldn't my love for God displace any thoughts concerning what others think?
Shouldn't God's love in me eventually spill over and make that person 'feel' loved?

John says,
"BY THIS shall all [men] know that you are My disciples, IF you love one another."
(John 13:35)

"BY THIS we come to know the love: that He laid down His [own] life for us; and we ought to lay [our] lives down...
Let us not love [merely] in theory or in speech but in deed and in truth.
BY THIS we shall come to know that we are of the Truth, and can reassure our hearts in His presence..."
(1 John 3:16-19)

"All who keep His commandments abide in Him, and He in them.
And BY THIS we know and understand and have the proof that He [really] lives and makes His home in us: by the [Holy] Spirit Whom He has given us."
(1 John 3:24)

"For the [true] love of God IS this: THAT we do His commands [keep His ordinances and are mindful of His precepts and teaching].
And these orders of His are not irksome (burdensome, oppressive, or grievous)."
(1 John 5:3)

"...Keep yourselves from idols (false gods)–[from anything and everything that would occupy the place in your heart due to God, from any sort of substitute for Him that would take first place in your life]."
(1 John 5:21)

My responsibility is to be mindful of God and what pleases Him...
and to be separated from 'things' that take up God's space in my mind...

So that's it.
I've entertained thoughts that should have been resisted.
'Stuff' has occupied spaces in my head and heart that should have been occupied with praise.

"Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."
(2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

"And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works."
(Hebrews 10:24)

In reminded of this hymn/poem,

"Go bury thy sorrow, the world hath its share;
Go bury it deeply, go hide it with care.
Go think of it calmly, when curtained by night;
Go tell it to Jesus, and all will be right.

Go tell it to Jesus, He knoweth thy grief;
Go tell it to Jesus, He’ll send thee relief;
Go gather the sunshine He sheds on the way:
He’ll lighten thy burden—Go, weary one, pray.

Hearts growing aweary with heavier woe
Now droop ’mid the darkness—Go, comfort them, go!
Go bury thy sorrow, let others be blessed;
Go give them the sunshine, tell Jesus the rest."
--- Mary A. Bachelor