I've never liked the thought of what I must look like...
A mother, without a man by her side, and so many children that you don't care to learn their names...
That's how I see me.
I don't really know anyone at the new church fellowship we've been attending since we moved back to Virginia.
But these people are amazingly kind.
I've never seen a 'meet and greet' like these people have.
And several are learning the names of the children and talking to them as individuals.
But I'm still lonely without my man by my side.
I know that assembling together on Sunday is about worshiping a loving heavenly Father together with brothers and sisters in Christ.
I know that my love for God is not dependant who I'm with.
But today was especially hard.
I'm carrying a load of cares I haven't been able to shuck off.
I didn't feel like making eye contact with anyone.
If I go to church, nice people will ask,
"How are you doing?".
I either have to lie and say,
"I'm fine"...
Contemplate transparency with a stranger or...
Ignore everyone as politely as possible until I can round up my gang to the car.
None of the above is at all pleasant.
But I opted for the third option.
Saturday, I had texted one of the ladies from church who had kindly informed me of a potluck and I told her not to expect us to be there this Sunday due to my husband's absence.
She replied,
"Though getting there is a challenge, I'm sure you will be encouraged & glad you came ☺."
That was nice of her.
But I have had such heaviness on me lately that I really wanted to stay home.
However, we did go.
The message WAS truly encouraging.
I had thought that surely I could not possibly hear anything I hadn't heard already.
Certainly, Pastor would say nothing that could lift the burden I've found myself under.
But I was wrong.
The pastor read from Philippians 3. Verse 14 stood out to me.
"I press towards the mark, to the prize of the supernal vocation of God in Christ Jesus."
That got me thinking.
...'vocation'
...'press on'
Paul, in Titus 2:3-5 says,
"...encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."
THAT is my vocation.
Paul says again, in another letter,
"I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beseech you to walk worthily of the calling wherewith ye were called, with all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; giving diligence to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
(Ephesians 4:1-3)
THAT is HOW I must press on.
But my favorite 'vocation' description comes from an ancient manuscript,
"...Take care of those who are broken and weak,
Do not make fun of those who are crippled,
Protect the disabled,
And help the blind to catch a vision of my dazzling splendor.
Keep both the old and the young safe within your walls...
Abide still, O my people, and take thy rest...
Nourish thy children, O thou good nurse; stablish their feet...
Be not weary...
Be joyful, O thou mother, with thy children; for I will deliver thee, saith the Lord...
Embrace thy children until I come and shew mercy unto them: for my wells run over, and my grace shall not fail...
Be ready to the reward of the kingdom...
Flee the shadow of this world...
O receive the gift that is given you, and be glad, giving thanks unto Him that hath led you to the heavenly kingdom.
Arise up and stand, behold the number of those... which are departed from the shadow of the world, and have received glorious garments of the Lord."
(...2:22-39)
THIS has been my inspiration for the last 20 years.
I know ALL mothers get discouraged.
I am no exception.
I've been mothering for over twenty years.
There's no monetary reward for my vocation... not one paycheck.
People often measure the success of their career on the size of their paycheck.
It's not really true, though.
Success is more related to reputation, boss approval, and dependability.
But doesn't a paycheck Friday help a little in motivation for getting back to work on Monday?
Don't vacations give you something to look forward to and work toward?
Doesn't looking at a finished project or perfect product or happy customer bring reward?
Well?
My vocation has no paycheck.
I accrue no vacation time and there are no 'weekends'.
The finished product is unpredictable and may be smooth-running or require more effort and headache in maintenence than it did in the production phase... it's a 50-50 chance due to the nature of the product.
This causes no small amount of anxiety.
Yet.
God, my boss, only asks me to press on obediently in the task immediately before me.
I tend to measure myself according to how my home and children look or function.
And, let me tell you, I don't think I'm measuring up.
But I was encouraged today to 'press on'.
Paul found himself permanently disabled and often imprisoned. Yet THIS did not shake him or cause him to question the sacrifice of his life of service to God.
There was no guarantee that the converts Paul had risked his life for wouldn't be easily swayed by Judaizers.
As a mother, there is no promise that the child I raise will choose wisdom.
A relative or peer or stranger 'out there' can, with persuasive speech and enticements, destroy in a very short time what it took a lifetime to create.
My home that I clean in a day can be trashed within minutes.
Days' worth of laundry that was completed on Saturday can reappear before Sunday is over.
BUT I must 'press on' in the 'vocation' God has given me to perform in Christ Jesus.
Another thought came to me after this morning's message...
God, THE perfect Father, created and walked and talked with His first 'creation' (Adam).
Yet, though this 'son' was taught by THE perfect Father and heard direct commands from the mouth of God, Adam chose to listen to logic and reasoning and disobeyed God.
Not even the threat of broken fellowship or death was enough to deter Adam from disobedience.
ALL of us are subject to this sin nature.
Our children are no exception.
It isn't until the Spirit of God is given residence within a heart that one can find himself both wanting and doing that which pleases God.
And since God doesn't force entry into hearts and since the best mother or father cannot change hearts, my children will require maintenance until a spiritual implant has taken place.
THE perfect Father had to suffer the sadness of watching Satan deceive the perfect creature He had made...
And God had to LET that happen.
What sorrow.
What sadness God must have felt. What anger.
Yet the sin of Adam did NOT redefine a perfect God.
God was and is and will always be THE perfect Father.
This perfect Father made a way back to Himself and His love covers a multitude of sins for any child who comes back to Him.
Praise the Lord!
This life isn't about me.
This person, me, is God's.
I must continue, 'press on'... doing my best in my 'vocation' with a clear conscience before God.
I plant seeds.
I water seeds.
But it is ONLY God who can complete the work in the hearts of my children.
"...Neither is he that planteth anything,
Neither he that watereth;
But God that giveth the increase."
(1 Corinthians 3:7)
It's NOT about me.
Keep your chin up mother dear.
Keep your nose to the grindstone God has placed before you.
Time off will come when the trumpet sounds...
And there's nothing like a heavenly retirement.
"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.
You are serving the Lord Christ."
(Colossians 3:23-24)
"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."
(Galatians 6:9)
"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him."
(James 1:12)
"...Do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward.
For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised."
(Hebrews 10:35-36)
"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."
(1 Corinthians 10:13)
Then there were ALSO the hymns of encouragement in this evening's service...
"Be not dismayed whate’er betide,
God will take care of you;
Beneath His wings of love abide,
God will take care of you.
Through days of toil when heart doth fail,
God will take care of you;
When dangers fierce your path assail,
God will take care of you.
All you may need He will provide,
God will take care of you;
Nothing you ask will be denied,
God will take care of you.
No matter what may be the test,
God will take care of you;
Lean, weary one, upon His breast,
God will take care of you."
AND...
"When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.
When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings—money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.
So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end."
And so she was right...
that sweet lady from church whom I don't know yet.
I WAS encouraged.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our affliction, that we may be able to comfort them that are in any affliction, through the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."
(2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
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